T minus 5 hours and 45 minutes

Well here I am yet again... worrying and going through TONS of emotions at this point. I know everything will be alright but surgery is still surgery and it's not just a everyday surgery... I found this video when my lovely students decided to look up my surgery. I will definitely miss my students for the week and a half I am gone... :( They are awesome and one of the only ways I feel I have kept going and dealt with the pain I am in for months.

This video shows an animation of what it will look like and how it will happen. :)

MPFL surgery


I only have just hours to go until I have a LIFE changing surgery one that will allow me to FINALLY walk again. I can't wait but still completely stressed like no other... So I am making a list of everything I will be able to do after surgery and healing;

walk
drive
run
exercise
jumping jacks
hike
teach
go on the beach
WALK
P90X
Figure out all of my OTHER medical issues
Jetski... :)
Boating
Roller coasters
TRAVEL
WALK
Visit Virginia
Walk for more then 5 feet without getting tired
RSD will get better
Life will get better
BEND OVER
Take a normal shower
Walk up and down stairs without worry
BE INDEPENDENT

Alright going back to sub plans so I can just try and SLEEP all later today... I am excited most of all to be put under because I can SLEEP!

T minus tooo many hours!!

I am really getting anxious, nervous, scared, excited, nervous, stressed and all around cranky about tomorrow... I should be grading right now but I can get my head in the game so to say.... I am too worried about the outcome of my surgery and the frustration I am feeling. I wish others understood what I am going through because it's hard to get in fights with those you love because they can't understand the pain. I never thought I would feel that way after reading so much on the RSD website... but it's true they don't get the pain and the torture it is just to move some days... most days. I feel like a waste on society at times but I know that this going to change so that is always uplifting to know that yes one day I will be able to walk, drive, run, and not be looked at as oh at least your trying.... no I am DOING it!! This really struck me.

Something to think about... as well as the saying

God grant me the serenity
to accept the things I cannot change;
courage to change the things I can;
and wisdom to know the difference.
Living one day at a time;
Enjoying one moment at a time;
Accepting hardships as the pathway to peace;
Taking, as He did, this sinful world
as it is, not as I would have it;
Trusting that He will make all things right
if I surrender to His Will;
That I may be reasonably happy in this life
and supremely happy with Him
Forever in the next.
Amen.

--Reinhold Niebuhr